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DAMN!
Saturday, July 11, 2009

Before you forget,
haiiz... a day pass.
another day to go.
6mths is not a short period of time.
gonna miss him F***ing loads.
ARGH!!!
damn it man..
before i forget, i sayang him alot seii..
just dun want him to forget me..
iLove him no matter wad he put me through..
and never will i give up on him..
6mths i have to bare not seeing him..
haiiyah!!
ouhh man im outta words..


9:18 AM

Promise are meant to be broken
Thursday, October 9, 2008

As expected,
he told me dat he's not into relationship.
i've expected it even before yesterday.
he's not ready to commit neither do he wanna try to commit.
i had this feelings even when he came back.
eventough we've promised not to leave each other.
promise are meant to be broken.
and i don't think he's aware that im hurt.
crying for him is not worth it..
cos he won't come back.
i wonder why he came back if in the end he's gonna leave me.
iLove him.
but he's not ready..
wads the point of being in a relationship,
when the other party is not willing to give in?
haizz..
i got to be strong.
pull meyself together and face it..
dats all i can do now..
its true,
promise are meant to be broken.
i've went thru enuff..
now lets just wait n let him decide..




-BeautyBrainz-


6:35 PM

The Return
Wednesday, October 8, 2008

he came back..
so glad abt it..
but, i can't be happy jumping for joy just yet,
cos he's in a confusion state.
Tings might just be like the way it is before..
i mean, whn we got back together again
the time whn we end up seperating again.
it hurts whn he's just not serious abt it.
but wad can i do, i just love him.
but believe it or not i have accept the fact that he's not ready.
not ready to take back everytink.
he just dunnoe wad he's feelings are.
wad he feels for me.
if he reali does love me or not.
i undrstand dat, cos i noe wad hpn still lingers in his mind.
but my heart is not strong enuff to hold for so long..
i can wait, but not sure till when..
i just hope he'll come back soon..
till den, our relationship is still
ON HIATUS.





-BeautyBrainz-


8:24 PM

phew!
Thursday, September 11, 2008

*sigh*
 another tiring day at work. lets go thru ol dis final working day and then....
rest fer the weekend! arghh!!!
i can't do that, cos there's jamming tmrw...
haish!
i tot i wanna get up a lil bit late but i can't! haizzzzz.......
OMFG!!!
i did talk to him online..
hee!!
but i still can't tell him dat i miss him tons & loads..
erm..
maybe i shld try..
or maybe i shldn't..
heez!
nvm let it be..
let time tells..
iLove him!! hee!!



-BeautyBrainz-


9:41 PM


Babe, iMiss u tons & Loads!
arghh!!! have to admit, i reali miss him alot.. i just can't help it i reali, reali, reali, reali, reali miss him alot! wad am i suppose to do? i can't do anitink accept stare at his pictures which i still kept im my photo album. i shldn't have agreed to his decision. i didn't expect tings to turn out dis way. i didn't expect to miss him this bad. upon seeing him online i sumtimes feel like talking to him. ask him how he's doin, is he fine. but i just can't. how i wish i could but i can't. seriously i can't. cos my feelings hasn't fade. sumtimes i still wonder y did he sae i love you b4 he kept himself silence. and i still nid his answer, answer to my question. does he really mean wad he sae? does he really mean by saeing i Love you to me? i do wonder. but i noe i can't get the answer. cos only he noes the answer. and whnever i looked at his picture, it makes me break down to tears. i reali can't stop loving him. and i reali can't put him away. i just hope he knows how i feel twrds him. even if we can't be together animore, i just hope he appreciate my feelings fer him.. even whn im typing this, tears rolled dwn my cheeks.. i reali miss him. onli if he know how i feel for him. i just can't help it. i tried everytink i could, but there's nothing i could do to put him away. i've put him thru alot. and that alot reali hurt him. i dun want him to suffer neither do i want him to be hurt again. but i just dunnoe why i can't put him away. throw our memories far far away from me. i would stare at his picture the whole day in my room looking back at the good times we spent. the fun we had the joy and laugh we shared throughout these days. nothing is the same anymore. i've lost everything. closing my heart not leaving any space fer anyone. i just wish i could see him right in front of me. i wish that could happen and den i would run to him and hold him tight. if that happens, i would take his hand and seek for forgiveness from him..





-BeautyBrainz-


12:37 AM

mememe!!!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008


I Miss Him!


sick again.. still on Medical leave but i got to work.. settle some stuff and off i go.. nothing much to do well maybe could clear off a few stuff before hari raya holidays come.. the bite on my hand is not recovering in fact, its getting worse. dr sae its due to food food im allergic to.. but i don't think so !!
i've been eating all those food since forever and nothing appeared only till this doctor who saes so!!
arghh!!! nvm.. im missing HIM!! i miss him alot, i miss him tons and loads but i dunnoe if i should tell him or leave it.. my frens told me not to think of him again.. but i can't reali do dat.. im lying if i sae i dun have feelings fer him. i still do have feelings for him, but im not sure if he does. i just miss him to the extend. which i can't even xplain how much i miss him.. i noe he's hurt over wad hpn during our relationship but, there's nutink much i could do. its the past and i can't turn back time to change everythink. what would happen if i go st8 to him and sae Bby iLove u still. he wld probably reply "uh,oke." dats all.. but for once before we reali went seperate ways, he said the word I LOVE YOU... ol i remembered was i told him if u reali meant wad u sae u noe wad u should do. but till now, he kept silence..



-BeautyBrainz-


12:04 AM

sick
Thursday, September 4, 2008


Sick + Work = Killing Myself.
haizzz... another day at work. im sick and i can't take Medical Leave. WTH seii!! haizz... its so damn F*cking cold and im actuali wearing a sweater. no use, im still cold.. DARN!! i wish im at home now.. on my bed, on my pillow, with my blanky and my spongebob, resting.. im just so sick and tired.. my tummy doesn't feel good, and my throat is killing me! ARGHH!!! well, not surprise if i fall sick. cos i have alot in my mind. and i can't get my self stressed or i'll fall sick! and what you expect? 2 days walking in the rain without an umbrella.. hah! it sounds nice isn't it but once you're sick trust me its not! its not like as if i want to walk in the rain but i got no choice i have to. cos i have this survey thing to complete, and i have to reach home by 6.45. i almost fainted on my way home in the MRT cos i didn't get a seat. but i forced myself to stay strong and reach home safely. HAIIIIYAAAHHHH!! my entire body is aching and i can't do anitink about it.. im too restless now! seriously, I WANNA GO HOME! but no rply if im allowed to go hm early.. well, have to put myself together and stay strong. complete my task and maybe i could go.. well, i can't type dat much cos i need this energy to complete my task.. we'll scribble again soon aite?? Lotsa Love,




-BeautyBrainz-


6:42 PM

babe!
Monday, September 1, 2008

wah2..
yesterday,
1st day of ramadhan and i've been thru alot..
cried fer him,
d whole day,
thinking abt him..
wonder why its been put dis way i wonder..
time to eat!
its time to eat..
love eating as usual but, didin't reali have the appetite to eat kept tinking of him most of the time,
haizz..........
recieved text frm emy..
wondering wad crap his writing..
asking him wads wrg with him,
finally he admitted he's drunk!
how pissed i was when i found out.
damn it!
why must u do dis in the month of ramadhan??
arrrrggghhhh!!!
forget it!!!
hmph!!!
no mood to talk now....
haizz...








-BeautyBrainz-


7:44 PM